I have finally received my last feedback on assignment 5 and I am very pleased with my tutor’s comments.
Below is my tutor’s feedback for assignment 5 and my reflection in blue italics. For a PDF file of the original feedback please click here.
Hi Ghada. This is a very considered and thoughtful project which is at once quite a radical departure from previous assignment work and a development and progression of ideas you have been working through during the whole course (e.g. the expression of grief following the loss of your grandmother).
This brings your work over the course unit to a fitting conclusion – you have really broadened your thinking and experimentation throught this course, and have, I believe, begun to develop your personal ‘voice’. Well done.
I will of course be happy to look over your re-work of this assignment and the previous one.
I understand your aim is to go for the Photography Degree and that you plan to submit your work for assessment at the end of this course. From the work you have shown in this assignment, providing you commit yourself to the course, I believe you have the potential to pass at assessment. In order to meet all the assessment criteria, there are certain areas you will need to focus on, which I will outline in my feedback.
Feedback on assignment
- You’ve used a range of focus shooting strategies to convey various aspects of emotional state, and this works much better than a more uniform approach.
- The 2nd image appears to have a blue/cyan colour cast, which needs correcting. I deliberately added the blue/cyan colour cast but I will reduce the effect a little. Below is the before and after reducing the cast:
- Does the portrait image work in the slideshow mode? Personally, I don’t think it does – the black mask on either side of the frame disrupts the flow and depth. See what else you think might work from your contact sheets… I’m happy to give a second opinion.
To fix this I decided to remove the portrait mode image which is number 4 in the series although I like it, and exchange it with a semi similar one in a landscape mode from my contact sheet. Below is the portrait image and the one I decided to replace it with:
The Portrait Image
The Landscape Image
- Also, a slightly slower transition is needed for the slideshow format – try it.
Unfortunately a slower transition could not be used as the WordPress slideshow that I used does not have this feature.
- A little re-editing could help to strengthen the series. Try beginning the series with
image 3 and see how the leads in. The first image might make for a more seamless
stepping-stone towards the seascape? See the rework here.
- Image 5 is beautiful and I think your decision to use a muted colour palette (generally) suits the subdued mood and helps to convey its expression.
- The image of the sea does, for me, jar a little because it seems the “odd one out”.
Perhaps this is because the others are woodland scenes? Including one or two other images of a different type of landscape could be a solution, as long as the sense of atmosphere is maintained throughout. In fact, I think this approach would work very well conceptually because this work is more about the essence of space and being (or presence) than location or a straight representation of a place.
I will remove the image of the sea and I will be replacing it with the following image:
- You’ve chose an challenging task in seeking to express an ‘interior state’ through the experience of being in the ‘great outdoors’. The viewer has a sense here of enjoyment of the external world being somehow muted.
- Overall the idea has worked very well and this could be developed into a bigger and more sophisticated project at a later date.
You have pushed the exercise in ‘creating a still-life’ a step further by comparing and
contrasting the results from your professional DSLR and your iphone. You come to critical conclusions about both; essentially, quality versus convenience and ease of dissemination.
Research & Learning Log
- Learning log has worked well for you.
- Excellent to see that the Roland Barthes text was resonant and you were able to weave the ideas from this text into thinking through your own work.
- You took inspiration from the work of Paul Gaffney and complemented this by looking into Miksang phototgraphy; this is a great way to broaden your arc of contextual research around your idea. More reference suggested below.
- Assignment 4 still needs some reworking..? The research and rework can be found under (Assignments/Assignment 4: Image and Text/ Assignment 4: Rework). The final rework version of the assignment can be found here.
- Read: Sections on Landscape, Beauty and the Sublime in Photography: The Key
Concepts by David Bate
- Terra Incognita – by Andrea Morley
- The Pond – John Gossage
- Strong concept
- Appropriate visual strategy
- Informed by visual & theoretical research, building on themes from previous
assignments (esp. A3)
Areas for Development
- Re-editing/re-sequencing will help to strengthen the work
- Research could be broadened